i must have been tortured before

yes...that must be the case...i actually had a nightmare of lfl..the hag....really..i am not joking..she appeared in my dream and was trying to be sarcastic towards me...omg...this shows that i was really tortured by her before...haaaaa...anyway i am still on my less worries, more smiles campaign..so far so good....when i feel a certain surge of anxiety coming up, i will try to calm myself down and say less worries more smiles....met up with my boss yesterday..there is another change in the time line....due to some logistic problems, the school will be operating at a later date...but no worries, i will be still getting paid...while slacking ard at home...oops! not really lah..i have got work to do..heeee..anyway, by her timeline, this will be by far the longest break i have ever taken...the only difference is that this time is a paid break...anyway i better enjoy while it lasts....just in case u ppl are wondering, why no more make up reviews..the reason being i read somewhere that u cant actually do this...might get sued by the make up company...unless u have been authorized by that particular make up company to do a review of their products, if not u may get sued...well this is what i heard lah..not sure if this is true but some beauty blogs will already received some kind of tags where they need to display on their blogs to show that they are authorized to do a blog review...weird...oh well...what a waste, i enjoyed seeing all the pictures on my blog...now it looks a little plain with just the words....heee...wonder if i can do it sneakily..after all only u gals read my blog...heeee

phew...a sigh of relief

i can finally sort of rest easy now...the location for my new sch has been settled...even though i am getting paid these 3 mths while working from home, part of me was worrying when the new location can be found..at least that means the school is heading somewhere...so far my boss has been pretty unlucky..whatever location she has settled for did not pull through ...but today at 3 pm, she messaged me the good news, they have been offered a place at city square mall..well it is quite out of the way for me but at least it is a place....she can now get the lease going, the renovations started....hee...happy....now my next step is to beg somebody to sort of send me to an mrt station everyday to work...heeeee....

when is a bag just a bag?

doesn't it sounds like a smart title?...basically i went out shopping yesterday and bought daddy a pair of aldo shoes....it is my promise to him..if he calls me and emails me very often in Myanmar then he gets this pair of shoes...i know....it sounds like bribery but it works...and he really did try to call me very often from there..oh well, the damage is only a hundred plus technically...not a very big deal for a christmas present cum reward for being a good boy until i saw 2 aldo bags.....when i laid my eyes on these 2 bags, i instantly realised that the damage could be much much more....what was worse was when i saw the sign outside aldo....SALE...UOB CARD ADDITIONAL 10% OFF....i mean who can resist a good deal right?...was trying to control my urges like someone who needs his opium fix until my daddy poured another bucket of cold water on me ,"hey..u just bought the longchamp bag leh..then u said with the longchamp bag, u wont need another bag?"...gulp...yup...i faintly recall saying that when i was begging him to buy the bag for me....except that when i was buying the longchamp bag, i didn't see this 2 nice aldo bags right?..which means that technically speaking, i didn't have the chance to really really make a choice..after a while, daddy gave up and decided to use reverse psychology on me which is egging me to buy the bag..."buy lah...now got sale leh....very nice what? and u dun have a bag in this colour right?..i buy for u lah..."...all the green lights are blinking but when such things happen, u tend to get a little suspicious and hold ur horses...yup, so i did not buy the bags and decided to wait till i dream of it at night, which of course i did last night...this morning, i just said this sentence to my daddy, "daddy i think abt it already." then he looked at me and said, "i know. u want to buy both bags."...shit...isn't he clever? he is practically the worm in my stomach...heee...but to prove him wrong, i said no ..i have decided not to buy it...heee....shd i buy it??...let me see if i will dream abt them again tonight....hee

eek..i hate airports

just sent my daddy off the previous monday and picked him from the airport on tuesday..todae is friday and i am back at the airport to send my younger sis off..she will be away for 5 weeks......going to sydney for some exchange program..dun ask me why she would want to do this...this is optional but she wanted to do it...well, this is going to be quite an adventure for her coz she has to literally learn to do everything herself..no more mummy to spoon feed her and pick up after her...would be a pretty good learning experience for her i guess...and i think it is a good chance for my mum to learn to be independent too coz she is always relying on my sis to keep herself busy...now with me getting married soon and moving out, she will have to get used to having less ppl at home so it will be a good experience for my mum to learn to be alone too...i will miss my sis...5 weeks is long long time and we are very close....sigh..i really do hate airports

my daddy is back

yes yes..he is finally back...after a gruelling 9 days....i am happy and here comes the bad news.....end jan he will be going again....hopefully the next time will be shorter...no more 9 days...the worse news: end of jan when he goes, i would have already moved in with him after my guo men..which means when he is away, i will be alone with my mil and bro in law...eek...so weird...i would have to get used to working with their schedules minus my buffer (daddy)...oh man...wonder if i can stay home during the week when he is away...unlikely to be possible...oh well and i wont be able to keep running out to meet friends coz as a daughter in law (dil) i need to perform some dil duties, which is to stay at home with a vacuum cleaner attached to my arm...oh dear...anyway i shall not worry too much...end of jan...2 more mths...see how it goes and i see if i can ask my buffer for some suggestions how to escape...haaa..for now he does not even want to tok abt myanmar..i was asking him when he needs to go bacdk again and he told me 'i just came back..i dun want to go again..'...who ask u to accept more pay? then got to go lo...stupid boy...the worst news besides the myanmar nonsense, i got the hdb answer for the bedok flats..i got a queue number but it is so huge so confirm i wont have a chance..oh well...have to wait for the punggol one lo...

day 9..

tee hee..it is day 9...in another 12 hours i will see him at the airport....this is the longest time we have apart and i am really proud of myself..other than being a little moody and spacey the first 2 days, the rest of the days i was pretty much occupied and had tonnes of things to do...of course i did miss him but i was able to function normally..haaaa....i am proud of myself...think i did pretty well....but still i hope he wont need to travel so soon again and not for so long again..heee.....9 days overseas, damage done: $40 worth of overseas phone calls....heee....big hole in my pocket man...

day 8

yes yes yes it is day 8...tomolo he will be back....i miss him so much..heee..one more day and he will be back....something has been bugging me recently...i feel like a misfit at home sometimes....sigh...so sad..i need to go shopping to cheer myself up

it is day 7

i just have got 2 more days to go...yesterday he called me...told me that he wanted to change his flight to come back earlier...i am really quite excited..unfortunately the earlier flights are fully booked so no chance of seeing my daddy earlier...guess i just have to continue and endure the last 2 days....i have been pretty much staying at home these few days...just keeping myself busy with my work as long as helping my sis to pack....she is going aussie soon for a 5 weeks exchange program...then no one to play with my at home liao...

day 6

yes it is day 6...3 more days....hee....yesterday the bridal studio called me up..said that my photos were ready for collection..initially did not want to go and collect coz there was also a huge photo frame to collect..the one that we chose to enlarge to put on top of our bed...but after sitting ard the whole afternoon, i realised that i cannot tahan already so i took a bus down to collect the photos....God decided to create an amazing race reality show by raining...i could not get a cab so i have to lug the heavy album plus the huge photo frame to the main road to hail a cab in the rain...drama drama....showed my family the photos and they commented that the make up was done in a way that it did not look like me...gosh is that good or bad?...anyway today i am going back to his house to be a good daughter in law and clean the house..just realised that even though my husband is not ard, i still have to go over to show a bit of face out of courtesy..3 more days....

day 5..

4 more to go...yes 4 more to go...endure...surprisingly as the days pass by, it gets easier to pass time...i still occasionally will pine for him..but it is not so bad..haaa..so i am ready for a divorce....haaaa...still i hope the days go faster then i can see my daddy faster...
yesterday met up with my poly friends..heee...had a great dinner though a tad expensive and had great ice cream from ben and jerry...haaa..ice cream and chocolates are the best things in this world...if the country is at war, i will give my enemy info of my country if the enemy soldiers provide me with ice cream and chocolates....if the enemy soldiers ask me to choose between ice cream and daddy, i think i will have a difficult time making a choice....ho ho...
4 more days...4 more days!!

day 3....

6 more days...6 more days...hurry up...the days seem to be moving so slowly....was a little upset yesterday after meeting my boss....the employment contract that i signed is a little vague...not sure if it will offer me much protection but a lot of things is done on the basis of goodwill...and it is not written down....not sure if this will be good....also, my bosses seem to have this misconception that i am going to be there forever...they actually mapped out a career path for me...a pretty long term plan...basically they promised me a lot of things....going home earlier than the stipulated time, extra holidays than what is stated...this and that...but nothing is written down in black and white so i am a little concerned...spoke to daddy about last night when i called him..he sounded a little stressed out...said there is a lot of things to do...anyway i told him abt the employment contract and he told me i dun have a choice....i just have to pray that my bosses will be fair and just and keep to their words..after all now i have gotten what i wanted...a five days work week, a fixed shift and no more routine care...plus more pay of course...guess i cant be too fussy and expect everything to go my way....there are definitely some trade offs sometimes...i guess after being a childcare for so long, i need to get used to a more school like environment with more structure.

day 2

i am holding up well...less teary today..hell, i have not shed a single tear today..i am ready to fight the world alone...called him at the hotel last night...he sounded very sad...quite lonely over there...we spoke for nearly half an hour on my phone (hell, my phone bill will kill me man)...which was very surprising...usually he would say, dun talk to long or else phone bill expensive....yesterday he did not even stop talking to me...he probably feels lonely...well, seven more days to go....todae i am getting paid from boss...hurray! time for christmas shopping...

Day One

yes, the much dreaded monday is here..it is day one of being lonely...i sent him to the airport this morning..can sense that he was feeling rather unsettled because of me but he tried his best to keep chatting to keep the mood lighthearted..in fact, he was already feeling unsettled last night...usually when it is sleeping time, he will pat me to sleep first then he will sleep..but last night was different, he actually hugged me to sleep...i think he was feeling sad too but being a guy, he does not like to show much emotions..it is the little little actions that betray what he is feeling inside...the hugging part was really out of the norm...then this morning he was feeling quite tensed but he still tried to joke ard to probably make me feel better....when it was time to go in, we gave each other a quick hug and kiss and then i tried to avoid eye contact coz i was teary a little...i know..i am kinda of a loser...but he noticed and then he asked me why i am crying...the funny thing is that his eyes were a little damp too and yet he asked why i cried...anyway when all fails, just avoid the question and i pushed him into the gate...haaa.yes i did k...anyway to cut a long story short, he kept on looking back at me while he was lining up to go through customs...after he went through customs he would also walk a few steps and then turn back and wave at me....after that we exchanged messages for a while before he boarded the plane..he shd have one more hour of flight more to go....and the first sms that he sent me after he went through customs is this :boo so sad see you cry boo i love u...booo.....but i am still very proud of myself..other than getting a little teary eyed, i am quite alright...

Today is already Thursday

monday will come by so soon...then i will be alone for 9 days...i must be brave...funny how ppl can grow dependent on others...for the first time ever, i feel like a wife...it is so different when he was away in feb..that time i was only a gf...the feeling is different...now as a wife, the emotions inside are really different...i am more worried whether he will be ok alone..will he be eating well? will he be safe?...weird..i cant explain this myself too....to cheer myself up, i am going to buy more benefit products....going to get high beam to cheer myself up...

my daddy is going overseas

yup..he is going myanmar again for work..this time even longer than the time in feb....leaving next mon and will be back the following mon..i will be alone for 7 whole days including the weekends...interested parties can ask me out...haa

Benefit Benetint

yes..i finally mustered my courage and my money to buy this...have been hearing raves and raves of this product..in fact benetint is often called the star product of benefit...basically it is a lip and cheek stain...which means it can be used as a blusher or a lip gloss...it costs in a whopping $65 from the counter in sg but i managed to get hold of this online for $30...half price...it is supposed to give u the most natural blush and it really does so..when i put it on, my sis also agreed that the blush looks very natural as though it is glowing inside...unfortunately what made this product stink is firstly the price and the difficult application method...according to the instruction sheets, u are supposed to dot three dots on ur face and then blend in the colour....this is really hard to do coz benetint dries so so quickly that u can literally see the 3 dots on ur face...my guess is that u have to be a pretty good make up artist to handle this product...also because u tend to be a little over zealous in trying to blend the stain quickly, u will find that whatever blemishes that u have covered with a concealor or foundation will be so called rubbed off coz of benetint...but i really love love the colour of the blusher and how natural it looks on me...rating? maybe 3.5/5....will i buy this product again?....hmmm...chances not unless i can master the art of applying this product or if it is really cheap...guess i am still on my quest to find a good blusher...

ok, back to some updates on my life...work...hmmm pretty ok....still doing the curriculum....find it pretty challenging and fun really...perhaps this is the first time where i really enjoy work....married life...not a difference...daddy is still the same..just that i stay over on sat nights now...oh yes, i think the biggest difference is that we become more auntie and uncle as in when we go grocery shopping, we start to look for discounts and so called argue abt which brand of tissue is better...that kind of mundane things lo...my mother in law has been really nice for now...but i have been trying to be a very good daughter in law by volunteering to clean up the house..wedding preparations..so far quite ok...the wedding favours are done..we are going to collect our cards next week...daddy is working on the montage...everything seems quite ok for the moment...basically i just feel that my life at this moment seems to be the most peaceful....i am glad and contented with my life now...i have mochi ice cream in the fridge too...what more can i ask from God?..oh yes, maybe just one more little thing...dear God, shd i buy high beam from benefit too? there have been loads of good reviews too...apppear in my dream tonight k and tell me...thanks!

feeling a little emotional

was feeling really sick this morning and decided to go and see a doctor...my daddy very kindly send me there and back..thank u daddy for being kind ...sorry to make u late for work...anyway the past few nights i have not been sleeping well because i am sick and also because a lot has been weighing on my mind....firstly, kongkong...little did i realise that in another 2 months time, it will be kong kong's one year anniversary..just like that he has left us for one yr...seems only yesterday that he is gone..i kept on replaying the last few images of him alive in my mind...so painful...christmas is coming up and i think that is when we will all feel the sense of loss..wonder how he is doing now...hi kong kong, are u lonely over there? what do u do over that everyday? do u come home and visit ma ma sometimes??...i really hope he is fine and happy over there...and eating well of course..since he loves food so so much....then i thought abt my father....he has been gone for so long that i have forgotten what is like when he was ard..my memories are mostly him when he was sick and grouchy..hope he is fine too..it has been so long perhaps he has reincarnated already...next i thought abt my own daddy...actually daddy reminds me a little of my own father....quiet..dun like to talk much...always keep to himself....do girls really marry men who reminds him of their fathers??...i dun know....just lots of thoughts today..